I had an unexpected turn of events last Friday. Unbeknownst to me, my body was busy fermenting salmonella as I sat in a rickshaw in 102 F weather, not a great combination, it brings about heatstroke. (Eggs are not refrigerated in India, temperatures over 100 degrees for two weeks straight, really are a disaster waiting to happen if you eat them) Without going into the gory details, I survived it all mercifully with friends, family, faith, and medical attention. A brief stint in a hospital in India and a whirlwind trip back to the States, I’m home recovering. Blessed and grateful to be back in the loving fold of my family. My practice right now is savasana.
I didn’t get to say goodbye, not how I wanted too, not how I had planned. Yes, certainly it’s a bittersweet feeling to miss those I met and those I already knew, in India, without those proper and tidy ways we are accustomed in our ideals of hugs, handshakes, last photos and words. I didn’t know my last practice at the Shala was my last. There was much still on my list, but I’m alive. My list, my desires, of course didn’t all get accomplished, yet, its completely fine.
I certainly guess I can choose to play out a should’ve could’ve would’ve scenario of what I fantasized about, but I’m not. In my heart, in my soul, I’m still breathing, still feeling, still here, present, experiencing all of it, the full gamut of what living brings, and in and of itself it is wonderful, truly.
I have a few more things I’m sure to write about my experiences in India..I will get to them in time! But for now, just prayers of gratitude for being alive, for kindness, for love, for strength, for family and friends, for breathing, for compassion, for everything, even for pain, yes…because it let me know to get help. Pain saved me first, it was my wake up call to ask for help and get it.
For now, no goodbyes, because part of me we always be there, my energy, my heart, my soul, so I prefer to say, Namaste. 💜